I’m a pretty conservative guy.  I was raised knowing that the groom doesn’t see his bride until she’s coming down the aisle. That’s just the way it is, and that’s that.  I know it’s cheesy, but I’ve always looked forward to that moment.   Until I became a wedding photographer and realized that there could be another, possibly better way to skin a cat.

If you break down a wedding to the most simple and important elements, such as two people making a vow to God/each other/family and friends, and the celebration of that vow, you can begin to see all the other elements for what they are; which are ways to bolster the significance and meaning of experience.  After visiting many cultures around the world, I’ve come to see that each has their own traditions that they utilize in effort to express themselves and increase the significance of such a momentous occasion.  People that haven’t experienced otherwise, assume that their way is the way that everyone should do it, and the way it has always been done.  So they do what they think they should do, have a nice wedding, and then move on not having a clue that anything could have been different, and possibly better. Many weddings like that seem to be relatively unmemorable and short of moments that are truly treasured.

However, the weddings I have experienced that stand out in my mind as the ones that are most meaningful, emotional, and powerful, are the ones that don’t simply go through the commonly accepted motions and rituals.  The people in those weddings were the ones that take the time to stop, experience moments, create moments, and take advantage of every possible moment. They are intentional.  They are the father that makes certain to step inside the brides prep room to shed a tear while praying with his daughter and expressing his love and appreciation for her before walking her down the aisle. They are the grooms that write a letter to be delivered to his bride before the wedding day expressing his love in a manner that she can hold onto forever.  They are the families that identify, incorporate and celebrate those that have been married for decades and held strong during their receptions and have them share their wisdom.

The First Look

     I have found that there are things that can be added or changed to a wedding day to INCREASE significance if they are taken advantage of.  The sequence below is the most recent first look moment I shot.  When many people hear about a “first look,” they simply see people taking away a valued moment from the wedding day just to save time.  I have no doubt that some photographers and couples treat it as such.  If that is your plan and reasoning for a first look, I pray you reconsider your choice and save the moment for the ceremony.  The purpose of this post, however, is meant to be a short manual on how to take the moment from the ceremony, and magnify it’s value and significance x10.

As I stated already, the most important part of the wedding day is the vow.  The promise.  Every moment of the day prior to the making of this vow, should be for the sole purpose of preparation for it.  I have found no better way to accomplish this than a properly planned and implemented First Look.   I advise the same thing to every couple I photograph that decides on this moment to do these 4 things:

1.  Create your moment- Come up with a unique, but simple way you would like the groom to see his bride for the first time. Make it your own. Make it valuable.

2.  Clear the area- Family and friends are key parts of a wedding day, but not necessarily of this moment.  They can be distracting and this moment is specifically for the two of you.

3.  Pray- The vow you will be making is between the two of you to each other and to God.  Nothing is more powerful to me, and a picture of Gods love than a groom praying with and for his bride.

4. Appreciate each other vocally-  While asking about each others day is nice, it can be done later.  Take those moments to express your feelings for each other and your excitement about spending the rest of your life together.

Note- As the photographer, it is my job to capture these moments as thoroughly and respectfully as possible, while not taking away from them.  I silently shoot it, then I disappear to let the couple be alone and have a minute to themselves.  The last shot below was not the end of the first look. They stayed there for a couple more minutes after I left and they prayed.    They talked to each other and looked into each others eyes.  Those are the moments I live not just to photograph, but to help others to experience fully.  Sincere moments.  Real moments.  Intentional moments

In the end, not only do I feel like this moment was made more memorable, significant, and exciting, but it offered the opportunity to capture it photographically more interestingly and thoroughly than could ever be done during a ceremony.  That leaves them with not just a moment, and not just a an experience,but a memory that can be relived over and over through their images for the rest of their lives.  In the end, I realize that this is not the way everyone wishes to experience their wedding day.  Nor is it the way everyone SHOULD, experience it.  It is simply me revealing a way it can be done, and done well.  Regardless of how you view each other for the first time, I encourage you not simply go through the motions, but to make each moment special. Not just on your wedding day, but on every day of your life.